Marriage Is for Observing Dharma Through Virtuous Living

Our forefathers had the view that marriage is for the sake of observing dharma, for the sake of virtuous living. That is why the wife is called sahadharmini.

What is this dharma?
Primarily the Pancha Maha Yajnas which are done on an ongoing basis:

• Deva Yajna – Worship of devas

• Pitru Yajna – Worship of forefathers

• Brahma Yajna – Gaining and giving knowledge

• Bhuta Yajna – Sharing with fellow beings

• Manushya Yajna – Providing for other living beings such as birds, animals, plants, and trees

All the virtuous acts, all the dharmic acts are derived from these only. Even honesty and integrity are results of gaining knowledge. When you share, the quality of kindness in you strengthens. When you worship gods and forefathers, you are accepting the fact that this life is not everything — there is life beyond also, and you should prepare yourself for that life as well.

This is the very reason you should get married.

Here, when you say worship of forefathers, it has a very important element. Everybody is born with a debt towards the forefathers — starting from parents and going back through generations. It is not easy to give birth to and raise a child. Look at the troubles that the mother has to go through during pregnancy, at the time of delivery, the anxiety of the father.

In the materialistic Western world, there is a movement called the childfree movement or voluntary childless movement.

The percentage of people who are part of this movement varies. Like in Belgium about 15%, Netherlands about 60%, Sweden about 20%. In the United States, about 12% of married women opt for childlessness.

The Mahabharata, through the story of Jaratkaru, highlights the importance of begetting progeny as the most important purpose of married life — the life of a householder.

The debt to forefathers is repaid only after begetting a progeny.
Jaratkaru's forefathers tell him:

न हि धर्मफलैस्तात न तपोभिः सुसंचितैः
तां गतिं प्राप्नुवन्तीह पुत्रिणो यां व्रजन्ति वै

For the householder, no virtuous act, no tapas will give as much result as begetting a child.

Let's see what this is all about.

Jaratkaru was Astika's father.
Astika, who was instrumental in stopping the Sarpa Yajna of Janamejaya — the mass destruction of serpents.

Jaratkaru's entire clan was Yayavaras.

What is a Yayavara?
They are householders but observe strict rules like sannyasis. They keep roaming about. Will not stay at any place for more than one night. Wherever they are at sunset, they make it their home and leave in the morning.

A householder is supposed to do Agnihotra in the morning and evening. Yayavaras do this only once in fifteen days. Since they don’t stay in one place, they cannot do this every day. It is not an omission, it is not defective. They started a system like this — it is called Ardhamasa Agnihotra.

See, the essence of dharma is to have some system and adhere to it unfailingly. There can be variations in the system. But once you adopt a system, observe it unfailingly. This is the essence of dharma. And it should be a system prescribed in the shastras.

Jaratkaru was a bachelor. He performed severe austerities. He used to live without food for long periods. His body was just bones and skin, but he had brilliance like fire. He had complete self-control. He had decided not to get married. He followed the system of the Yayavaras.

Once, when he was roaming about, he saw some men hanging upside down from the edge of a cliff. Their legs were up, they were hanging by their legs, head downwards. They were hanging from something like the branch of a tree — but it was made of the grass called khas. A rat had eaten this branch from all around. It would fall down the cliff any time. All of them could fall down the cliff any moment.

Jaratkaru went near them and asked:
'Who are you all?'

'We are Yayavaras. We are rishis. We are just waiting to fall downward. This has happened because the one and only descendant of our clan refuses to get married and beget a progeny.'

There are some important allegories here. Do you know why they are hanging upside down — legs up and head down? Their feet are in swarga. They are still connected to swarga, but can fall down to naraka anytime. They will have to undergo suffering in naraka because the lineage is going to get cut.

The beam or branch they are hanging on to is so flimsy, so weak, that it can break anytime. There is just one descendant left. If he doesn’t get married and beget a progeny, they will fall. The rat is time, which has taken away all other members of the clan except the last one.

Then they said,
'The name of this last descendant of our clan is Jaratkaru.'

'That's me.'

'How can I save you?'

'Get married. Beget a progeny. That’s the only way you can save us.'

'For your sake, I will do it. But there are some conditions. One — the girl should have my own name — Jaratkaru. You can’t just rename someone Jaratkaru and get her married to me. Her original name should be Jaratkaru itself.

Then she should come to me as bhiksha. Someone should offer her to me as bhiksha — not in the conventional way of marriage.'

The forefathers said,
'Now you go around and start looking for her — but seriously, your effort should be earnest.'

Every day, Jaratkaru would call out three times:
'Is there anyone who would give me a bride as bhiksha?'

Once in a forest, when he was doing like this, suddenly Nagaraja Vasuki appeared with his sister and said:
'This is my sister. Accept her as bhiksha.'

Jaratkaru confirmed with Vasuki:
'What is her name?'

'Her name is Jaratkaru.'

Marriage of Jaratkaru with Jaratkaru took place in the proper Vedic way.

Ramaswamy Sastry and Vighnesh Ghanapaathi