Lord Rama Shows Us How to Live

In the Yoga Vasishta, there is a conversation between Bharadwaja Maharshi and Valmiki.

Bharadwaja asks Valmiki:
मह्यं च भगवन्ब्रूहि कथं संसारसंकटे
रामो व्यवहृतो ह्यस्मिन् भरतश्च महामनाः
शत्रुघ्नो लक्ष्मणश्चापि सीता चापि यशस्विनी
रामानुयायिनस्ते वा मन्त्रिपुत्रा महाधियः
निर्दुःखितां यथैते नु प्राप्तास्तद्ब्रूहि नु स्फुटम्

Bharadwaja asks, 'Please tell me, O Bhagavan. Rama and Bharata are mahamanaha (great-minded), while Shatrughna, Lakshmana, Sita Devi, and the sons of ministers who followed them are mahadhiyaha (very wise). They are not ordinary people; their perspectives are different. How did they tackle the adversities in their lives?

'Lord Rama and Sita Devi did not come to earth on vacation to enjoy or merely receive pujas and respect. At every step, around every corner, they faced troubles—physical, mental, emotional, in terms of power, relationships, livelihood, conflicts, jeopardies, and insecurities. Along with their team—Lakshmana, Bharata, Shatrughna, Hanuman, and others—they only faced troubles.

'Compared to what they endured, our challenges are insignificant. Did they ever get sad, depressed, or lament their fate? Did they see their troubles as injustice or curses, or did they face them with detachment? How did they cross the samsara sagara (ocean of worldly life)?'

Valmiki replies:
श्रुणु वत्स भरद्वाज यथापुष्टं वदामि ते
श्रुतेन येन संमोहमलं दूरे करिष्यसि

Valmiki says, 'Listen, dear Bharadwaja. I will explain in detail how they handled the challenges of worldly life. By understanding their approach, you will rid yourself of ignorance and impurities.

तथा व्यवहार प्राज्ञ यथा व्यवहृतः सुखी
सर्वासंसक्तया बुद्ध्या रामो राजीवलोचनः

'Rama, with equipoise and detachment (asamsaktaya), faced every situation knowing that all experiences are mithya (unreal). With this understanding at the core, he dealt with every incident as part of the game of life.

'Not only Rama, but all those around him—Sumitra, Kausalya, Dasaratha, Vasishta, Lakshmana, and Bharata—were parama jnanis (supremely wise). They faced adversities as part of a grand illusion, a divine game, with understanding and detachment.'

Valmiki further advises Bharadwaja:
तथा व्यवहर – 'Conduct yourself in the same way, and you too will find happiness in life.'

एतैर्यथा हुतं दत्तं गृहीतमुषितं स्मृतं
'Hutam duttam' refers to the actions prescribed by the Vedas and Shastras. 'Grihitamushitam' refers to worldly affairs.

Valmiki explains, 'They never stopped doing their duties—be it worldly or spiritual. They performed all activities with a different perspective and understanding, which made all the difference.'

अपरसंसारसमुद्रपाती
लब्ध्वा परां युक्तिमुदारसत्त्वः
न शोकमायाति न दैन्यमेति
गतज्वरस्तिष्ठति नित्यतृप्तः

Valmiki elaborates, 'Even if one is deeply entrenched in the ocean of worldly life, internal equanimity and equipoise can transform suffering into nothingness. Pleasure and pain are illusions—part of the divine game.

'Think of a boxer in the ring. When punched, he doesn’t lament but takes it as part of the sport. He knows that being punched is essential to improve his game. Similarly, with the right perspective (yukti), adversities become insignificant.'

When this understanding becomes firm, one is free from suffering (dukkha) and sorrow (dainyam). There is no need for sympathy, nor does one complain to others.

गतज्वरः – Ignorance is like a fever, not our original nature. It can be cured with the medicine of scriptural wisdom. Understanding how Lord Rama and others faced adversities is this medicine.

Valmiki concludes, 'Take this medicine, and you will be cured of ignorance. You will become nitya trupta—ever satisfied—and no longer dissatisfied with life.'

• Every member of Rama’s circle—Rama, Sita, Bharata, Lakshmana, Shatrughna, and even their minister’s sons—faced one challenge after another, but they did not collapse emotionally or spiritually.

• They approached life with inner strength and sharp awareness, handling everything as a passing experience in a grand illusion, not as personal misfortune.

• Rama especially acted with asamsakta buddhi—a mind free of attachment—treating all ups and downs as scenes in a play, never clinging or complaining.

• They stayed fully involved in both spiritual duties (hutam, duttam) and worldly affairs (grihitam, ushitam), without turning away or escaping from responsibility.

• Their clarity came from knowing that both pleasure and pain are mithya—false constructs, not worth obsessing over or resisting.

• Detachment did not mean inaction; it meant engaging with wisdom, performing every task without selfish craving or sorrowful reactions.

• This perspective removed jvara—the fever of ignorance—and brought them to nitya tripti, a state of lasting contentment unshaken by outer events.

• Even when caught in samsara (the ocean of worldly life), their yukti (inner method) helped them float above grief, never drowning in despair.

• Valmiki advises that anyone can do the same: live fully, think clearly, detach inwardly—and sorrow will drop away on its own.

What does it mean to say Rama lived with detachment?
He performed his roles with full sincerity but stayed untouched inside. Victory or loss, praise or insult—he saw them all as momentary ripples in a dream-like world.

Is this how he managed to stay calm through exile and war?
Yes. He saw each situation as a part of the lila—the cosmic play. Since he never clung to outcomes, he moved through pain without being crushed.

But isn’t detachment cold? Doesn’t it make a person emotionless?
Not at all. Detachment means freedom, not numbness. Rama loved deeply, cried when needed, but bounced back fast because his core wasn’t chained to circumstances.

Why didn’t they see their suffering as punishment or injustice?
Because they understood that life is a flow of impressions—not rewards or punishments. With this insight, they saw pain as an appearance, not as a personal curse.

Does this mean I should never ask why something bad happened to me?
Ask—but ask from a higher lens. Instead of 'why me', ask 'how can I see this differently?' That’s the doorway to freedom.

Isn’t it natural to feel that life is unfair when hit hard?
It’s common, yes—but not inevitable. Once you grasp that life unfolds like a play, where roles are assigned but the soul remains free, the unfairness loses its sting.

What did Valmiki mean by ‘grihitamushitam’?
It means dealing with worldly life—living in houses, managing duties, handling people—without losing your core wisdom.

Did Rama and his circle avoid worldly responsibilities?
Never. They ruled kingdoms, raised families, fought wars, and upheld dharma. But they weren’t trapped by the ego of doing it.

Isn’t this double life—doing things but not getting affected—hypocritical?
No, it’s mastery. Like an actor who feels the role but knows it’s not him. Hypocrisy hides the truth; detachment reveals it.

What happens when this understanding becomes firm?
You become gatjvara—free of feverish reactions. Pain still comes, but it doesn’t stick. You remain light, clear, and peaceful.

How can I know I’m getting closer to that state?
When life throws a punch and you no longer take it personally, when you stop narrating stories of hurt—that’s your signal.

Isn’t this avoiding emotions? Won’t it backfire?
No, it’s clarifying emotions. Instead of drowning in waves, you start surfing. You still feel, but now with clarity, not confusion.

What does ‘nitya tripta’ mean?
It means being content all the time—not from having everything, but from needing less, expecting less, and staying grounded in reality.

Can someone really be happy in this world without external support?
Yes, if their satisfaction comes from clarity, not possessions. People like Rama proved it—deep peace from deep understanding.

Is this just spiritual escapism from real problems?
Not at all. Escapism runs away. This path walks straight into life, but with clean eyes and a calm heart. That’s real courage.

Ramaswamy Sastry and Vighnesh Ghanapaathi