Speaking Sweetly Itself Is A Tapas

Tamil saint-poet Tiruvalluvar talks about the importance of sweet words.

A primary indicator of whether a person is virtuous or not is what he speaks. Virtuous people are always tender and kind. Making your way ahead through shouting and screaming is not for the virtuous, not for the gentleman. You should speak straightforwardly, not with the intention of silencing or confusing the listener. Words coupled with a cheerful smile are the best gift you can give to anyone.

If you are good at heart but harsh with your words, then there is no point. The saint says: poverty and sorrow will not follow a person who is kind in his words because he will have the goodwill of a lot of people. When he gives cheer to those around him, they will also not allow him to be unhappy. If you make people around you unhappy, they will also make you unhappy.

There are two jewels that a man can adorn himself with: humility and sweet words. No other ornament can be compared to these. A man who is powerful yet humble, skillful yet humble, capable yet humble, powerful yet gentle with his words, skillful yet gentle with his words, capable yet gentle with his words will easily stand out in a crowd. Your eyes and ears will naturally go towards him.

You may be doing good, your intentions may be good, but if you are harsh, then everything that you do will be eclipsed. At the same time, if you can be gentle and kind while doing good, whatever good you do will be magnified many times. Not only in the world, but at the spiritual level also, good words help a lot.

Why do you feed somebody? You want to gain punya out of it by removing that person's hunger. Hunger is a misery, a sorrow. At the same time, if you are harsh with the person you are feeding and look down upon him, then by insulting him, you are just giving him another kind of sorrow. Then there is no point, you see. You are yourself nullifying the effect of what you are doing. You are spoiling the result of your own good karma. You are still giving that person another kind of sorrow. His hunger can be easily satisfied by someone else, but the wound of your harsh behavior will not heal easily. So, if you don't know how to be gentle, then better not try to help others, better not be charitable—you will be spoiling your own karma.

Why should you use harsh, cruel words when good words can do the same job? A judge, while pronouncing a harsh sentence, will still be careful with the words that he uses. I am not saying gentle, but he will be in control of what he says. He will not abuse the offender with four-letter words. Why should you use cruel words at all?

Saint Tiruvalluvar says: using harsh words when you can do the same job with kind words is like eating unripe fruits when you have ripe ones with you.

The Geetha says: अनुद्वेगकरं वाक्यं सत्यं प्रियहितं च यत्। स्वाध्यायाभ्यसनं चैव वाङ्मयं तप उच्यते।।

It qualifies as a tapas if your words don't cause anguish in others, if your words are always truthful, if your words are gentle, kind, and sweet, and if your words are for the benefit of others.

Just practice this. This itself is a tapas that can yield great spiritual benefits and, of course, success with people as well.

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