Role of Small Incidents in Character Formation
Acharya Vinoba Bhave talks about two small incidents connected to his grandfather from his childhood.
He was eight or nine years old.
We should understand one thing.
It is not big, big lectures that would form the character of a child.
It is these small incidents — how you demonstrate to the child what is right and what is wrong through these small incidents — that is what matters.
The child is watching how you, as parents, are reacting and behaving.
Acharya Vinoba's grandfather was a big bhakta.
His daily puja would go on for hours.
Children would sit with him to help him.
They enjoyed getting his flowers, water.
They liked the way he chanted and did puja devotedly.
One day, as the puja was going on, they saw that a scorpion had come.
It was sitting on the idol.
The children started shouting: kill it, kill it.
The grandfather told them,
No, you should not do that.
He has taken refuge in God.
You should not harm him.
After decades, Vinobaji still remembers and talks about this.
See the kind of impact it created.
The message was great — those who have taken refuge in God, they need to be respected.
Another incident.
One of the boys was caught stealing jaggery and eating.
All the other children started making noise: he is a thief, he stole.
Grandfather told them,
Don't use those words.
It is his own house, that jaggery belongs to him also.
Never use those words.
Ah, it would have been better if he had asked and taken it.
Then that boy was called.
The grandfather asked him,
Did you wash your hand before taking that jaggery?
No.
Obviously.
You should not do that.
You should wash your hands before taking any food, otherwise you might fall sick.
Hereafter, whenever you want jaggery, ask for it.
You will get it.
See the approach.
The boy never did that again.
Do you think reprimanding or punishing him would have helped?
That may suppress his tendency to steal — but it would never reform him.
The boy came out of two habits — stealing and also eating jaggery.
Both he came out of.
This also, as a young boy, Vinobaji.
The power of kind words — how they can transform.
This is what children require in their formative age — people like this grandfather around them.
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