How You Should Instill Good Qualities in Children
Acharya Vinoba Bhave narrates how his mother instilled great qualities in him right when he was a child — not by teaching, but through practical demonstration.
She used to do Nag Puja on Nag Panchami every year.
Puja used to be done on a photo of Naga Devata.
Every time, Vinoba's mother used to make him draw the picture with his own hands.
Once Vinoba asked her, we get very good pictures in the market. Why don't we get one from there?
She said,
No.
God likes it when you make it with your own hands.
That shows your sincerity and involvement.
See what Vinoba learned from this.
It is not short mechanical rituals — it is your involvement that matters in worship.
While we should strive for perfection, give attention to details — more than that, what matters is your attitude, your approach, your bhavana.
This is how parents should instill good qualities in children.
If you develop good habits in children right during childhood, they will stay forever.
Vinoba's mother had told him to give water to Tulasi every day before lunch.
One day he forgot.
He came and sat for lunch.
She asked him,
Did you give water to Tulasi?
No, I forgot.
Go give water, then only I will give you food.
It was not —
Oh, it is just one day, don't forget again.
It was —
Go give water, then only I will give you food.
Good habits should not be skipped even for a day.
They had a tree of jackfruit in the compound.
When the fruit became ripe, the fragrance spread.
Children became eager to have it.
But the mother, after cutting it open, would take out pieces, keep them in small leaf plates, and say —
First you go and give it to all neighbours, then you can have.
Our scriptures say that before you take your food, make sure that there is no one hungry around you.
We are only presuming that since the jackfruit tree is growing in our compound, it is ours — we own it.
God hasn't made it like that.
God has made it for everyone.
That's why so many fruits appear — not just one or two, which is sufficient for your family.
This great quality of sharing — see how the mother put it into the children.
Not through lectures — through demonstration.
Vinoba says that this was behind his starting the Bhoodana movement.
At night, to make curd, she would take the milk and put a little bit of curd in it, taking God's name.
Vinoba once asked her,
Why are you taking God's name?
Because it will become curd only if God blesses.
We can add curd to milk, but it will turn into curd only if God blesses.
See how easily the concept — that both effort and divine blessing matter for success in everything, even small things — how easily and efficiently she put that concept into the child's mind.
This is what we should do.
If a lady in the neighbourhood was unwell, Vinoba's mother used to go and cook for them at their place.
But she would first finish cooking at her own place, then go.
Vinoba asked her,
You are being selfish, you are taking care of your own family first.
Mother said,
It is not like that.
I want them to have hot meals. That's why I go there later.
See how much thought goes into each day-to-day act.
See the awareness.
Not only that, see how efficiently she puts them into the child's mind.
This is what every parent should do.
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