How to Overcome Shyness?

धनधान्यप्रयोगेषु विद्यासंग्रहणेषु च
आहारे व्यवहारे च त्यक्तलज्जः सुखी भवेत्

If you are able to overcome shyness, timidness, diffidence, hesitation, reluctance, inhibitions, modesty, apprehensions in matters relating to livelihood, gaining knowledge, food and day-to-day transactions, you will be happy in life.

I remember a couple. A young couple. Both were post graduates in pharmacy. Were doing very well in their careers.

Then the entrepreneurial bug bit them. So they left their jobs and started export of medicines.

Did very well for a couple of years. With confidence well boosted, they expanded, mortgaged their properties, took up big liabilities and expanded their reach.

Suddenly, one customer cheated them. One huge shipment sent to an African country went untraceable. The customer became untraceable. The LC turned out to be fraudulent.

And they came on the road.

What would you expect, a lot of lamenting, blaming fate, running from astrologer to astrologer looking for solutions.

You know what they did.

Opened a roadside stall, a footpath stall for snacks, idli, dosha, vada like that.

As simple as that.

They were doing quite well in business. Doing close to hundred crores of turnover. Used to move around in a Skoda till about a month back.

Now they would catch a suburban train early morning with bagfuls of vegetables and other stuff and open their stall by 5.00 / 5.30 in the morning. Selling idli and vada.

Taking care of themselves.

Is there anything more than this to life.

There was no sign of any strain on their face.

They looked cool to me.

I couldn’t ask them – how do you manage, how do you handle it?

Because

They didn’t seem to be MANAGING it.

They didn’t seem to be handling.

They looked very natural and normal.

They looked as if this was what they were always doing.

It looks as if they had inherited this profession from their father.

So much settled into it.

So much at home with it.

So much in peace with it.

Some people are blessed. Blessed with such mindset.

How many of us can do this?

The action hero even after the shoot is over believes that he is still an action hero.

He thinks he can fly and destroy an army of villains single-handedly.

This is the falsehood most people live with.

At any point of time, you are only playing a role assigned to you by someone.

You don’t realize this.

You start believing in it so much that you are not willing to take down your costumes, near. You have completely forgotten all the roads you have walked, all the roles you have played before you took up this role.

You trust your business card to be the reality, but not yourself anymore.

How many of you can introduce yourself without connecting to your profession, or what you do?

What do you do sir?

I am a Vice President at so and so company.

I am a Chartered Accountant.

I am a Project Manager at…….

First of this ‘I AM’ itself is an illusion, a falsehood.

Within that, you are creating a still smaller jail room for yourself.

You feel very comfortable in that jail room.

After some time you will become a caged parrot. Even if you set it free, it will still come back to the cage. It finds comfort in the cage.

This is what most of us have become. Caged parrots.

But, if you are able to overcome this mindset, you will be much more happier in life.

Your designation, your position does not have any value beyond your small world – in terms of space.

They don’t have any value post-retirement in terms of time.

They are given to you by someone with the whole and sole intention of getting THEIR work done.

Not for anything else. Not because they like you and admire you.

Then why do you cling to them so much?

I have been an Associate Vice President, I have been a Senior General Manager – how can I come down.

Remember before that as a child you used to wet the bed. Why do you forget that?

You were not born as an Associate Vice President or Senior General Manager.

People who climbed Everest never stayed there forever. They came down and continued living a normal life on the ground.

Lord Narayana himself comes down as humble as a fish, as a boar, as a dwarf.

What is the big deal?

The lesser this attachment, the happier you are in life.

I am not talking about attaining moksha by relinquishing attachment. I am talking about day-to-day happiness and peace in life.

If you are a Vice President, if you are a Bank Manager, if you are a Doctor, be so from 9.00 to 5.00 or whatever are your work timings. Beyond that be a human being. A simple human being.

Willing to take up any role the next day morning.

This should be your strength.

Such people are happy in life.

Same in the case of acquiring knowledge. If you don’t know something, ask. No matter what your image is. No matter who you are. How big a guru you are.

People who have asked stupid-like questions have gained.

Same with food. This is all very common.

If you look around, see what others are eating, how others are eating, nibbling at the food in front of you.

Once the feast is over, you will find yourself hungry.

No inhibitions required when you are eating. Eat what you want. Eat the way you want.

Even when you are dealing with others as a matter of day-to-day transaction.

Why do you have to feel like a pumped-up football? So much under pressure.

Who is big, who is small? They are also humans like you.

They do, they have to do everything that you do.

Why so much of self-consciousness? Why so much of inhibitions?

All these henchmen, mafia dons, the most powerful – make them stand stark naked in front of a crowd. Their ego will be finished in no time. They won’t be able to stand the glares.

Everyone is only as strong as the costume they wear. The falsehood they wear.

So, to be happy in life discard all your inhibitions, modesty and shyness about livelihood, food, knowledge and in your dealings with others.

Ramaswamy Sastry and Vighnesh Ghanapaathi