Do You Know Why People Get Angry?

We are discussing what pollutes the mind.
After kama, krodha.
Anger, anger when it takes over the mind, leaves behind, dirt, impurity.

You get angry when you are challenged, threatened, attacked.
You get angry when you feel powerless.
You get angry when you think that you are being treated unfairly.
Apart from these, there is an anger which is pathological which needs a psychiatrist’s attention.

Normal anger that comes, when challenged, when feeling powerless and when you feel that the world is unfair to you, comes when your expectations are not met.
You expect to be honoured, respected, then walk past the line in a temple and the security stops you.
Don’t you know who I am?
Anger when challenged.
An unexpected challenge to your ego.
You expect to be honoured and you are challenged.
Anger out of helplessness, powerlessness, feeling of helplessness, powerlessness.

Doesn’t mean that those who feel powerful don’t get angry. They get angry for a different reason, being challenged when their ego is hurt.
Most of the uprisings that we have seen in history have come out of this helplessness.
Feeling of helplessness. Wherein dictators have been uprooted, new rulership established, new power centres established.

A variation of this is that you are being treated unfairly.
Someone is surpassing you, someone is being accorded privilege, you get angry.
In all these cases you will see that you expect something and when it doesn’t happen that way you get angry.
Be it your son bringing less marks in the exam, your spouse not being mindful of your needs, your boss shouting at you, your neighbour taking undue advantage of the public space.
Expectation and expectation not being met.
Leads to anger.

When you start recognising that it is not your expectation, not your plan that works it is HIS plan that works,
Where so many so many so many things are interconnected, interlinked.
When you realize that a train that came in late for which you cursed everyone starting from the railway minister, that delay just saved you from an accident.
I am not saying that God only saves you from accidents.
You will also recognize that the accidents are also part of this great scheme of things.

When this insight dawns on you, your expectations reduce.
Expectation is just comfort of a habit that you don’t want to break.
You want the sun to rise exactly at the same spot every day at the same time.
Expectation is conformity to a pattern which is either present or you would like to be present.
As you progress more and more you will find that this conformity is only as much as there is lack of conformity.
We wrongly believe that there is conformity, there is predictability to everything.
This is just a bad notion bad habit that we have developed.
We find solace on the lap of this bad habit.

We can’t even predict the path of a dry leaf that is going to fall from a tree before it reaches the ground.
We can’t predict the path a snake would take when going from point a to point b.
What conformity are we talking about, what predictability are we talking about?
We see them failing every day, stock market predictions, weather predictions.
Still, we want life to conform to a pattern, be predictable.
Of course, a few things at times are apparently predictable.

One more thing that we have to know here is that this predictability or conformity is mostly founded on the observations and inferences of judgement of others. Written, or oral or overheard.

So, as you mature – you will realize that nothing is predictable.
It is not human assessment, human analysis, human intelligence, human plan that works.
It is something else, which is absolutely un envisagable.
We only can know there is a plan in place, but can’t know what that plan is.
When you realize this your expectations go on reducing.
This comes primarily out of the recognition of the fact that there is a super power whose plan is in place.
And this develops through small acts such as puja, pilgrimage, daana, dharma.

When you start recognising such a power your spontaneous reaction is one of awe, and you want to respect this power, you want to worship this power.
This is spontaneous, this is built into the human mind.
And when you go on performing these simple acts, you develop more and more clarity.
Then there is less of expectations, less of frustrations, less of anger.
Less of generation of impurity.

• Anger pollutes the mind just like desire does, leaving it restless and agitated.

• Anger flares up when your ego feels attacked, when you feel helpless, or when you face injustice.

• At the root of most anger is unmet expectation — you want something to happen a certain way, and when it doesn’t, you boil over.

• Expectation is often just a lazy attachment to a familiar pattern or comfort zone you don’t want disturbed.

• Whether it’s respect from others, favorable treatment, or even small things like punctual trains — the moment reality doesn't match your mental script, anger steps in.

• Power doesn’t protect against anger; powerful people also get furious when their sense of control is challenged.

• Historical revolts and revolutions often sprang from collective anger rooted in long-term helplessness.

• Our belief in predictability is mostly an illusion — we cling to it even though daily life proves it wrong.

• The desire for life to follow a fixed pattern is based on second-hand assumptions, not personal clarity.

• True insight comes when you accept that there is a larger plan beyond human understanding.

• When you accept this invisible power and its mysterious way of functioning, your grip on expectation loosens.

• Simple acts like puja, pilgrimage, daana (charity), and dharma (righteous conduct) gradually align your mind with this larger intelligence.

• With this clarity, expectations reduce, frustration fades, and the fire of anger loses its fuel.

Why does anger arise when expectations fail?
Because the mind clings to its own version of how things should happen. When the outer world doesn’t match this mental script, it triggers a jolt — and that jolt expresses itself as anger. The root cause is not the event but the rigid mental framework behind it.

Why do we get so upset about little things like someone cutting a line?
Because deep down we expect constant validation and comfort. A tiny disruption to this imagined order feels like a personal insult. Recognizing this shows how much control our expectations have over us.

Isn’t anger justified when someone genuinely wrongs us?
Anger may feel natural, but it still pollutes your clarity. Responding without anger doesn’t mean approving injustice — it means you stay anchored while correcting it. You lose nothing by staying balanced.

How is power connected to anger?
Power doesn’t eliminate anger; it just shifts its triggers. A powerless person gets angry from helplessness. A powerful person gets angry when their dominance is questioned. Both are driven by ego attachment.

Can strong leaders be angry and still be righteous?
Leadership doesn’t guarantee wisdom. A wise leader may feel anger rise but doesn’t act from it. Containment, not expression, reveals inner strength.

Isn’t power supposed to bring freedom from insecurity?
Not if that power is ego-based. Ego power needs constant external confirmation. The moment it’s shaken, the inner fear spills out as anger.

How do expectations turn into patterns?
Expectations are mental habits. You expect the sun to rise the same way, the train to run on time, or your child to obey. These patterns form comfort loops, and breaking them feels threatening — hence the reaction.

Can I live without expectations at all?
That’s not the point. It’s about loosening the grip of expectation. When things don’t go your way, you don’t fall apart. You adjust with awareness instead of reacting with anger.

Isn’t it natural to expect some things, like fairness or decency?
Yes, but clinging to even good expectations can lead to anger when reality fails you. Cultivating inner balance helps you respond wisely even when fairness is missing.

Why is predictability an illusion?
Because life constantly defies control. Even a leaf’s fall or a snake’s path can’t be precisely forecast. Yet we keep demanding predictability from relationships, careers, and the world — setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Why do people still chase predictability if it fails so often?
Because it gives a false sense of safety. We’d rather lean on this illusion than face the mystery of life head-on. Letting go feels scary — but it’s the first step to peace.

If nothing is predictable, how can I plan my life?
You can plan — just don’t bind your peace to the plan’s success. Be flexible. When plans collapse, clarity lets you adjust instead of explode.

How does recognizing a higher plan reduce anger?
Because you stop thinking you’re the only one in charge. When you sense a deeper intelligence guiding things, personal frustration softens. You begin to accept, rather than resist, life’s twists.

How can puja or pilgrimage help with anger?
These acts shift your focus from ego to surrender. They aren’t magic rituals — they remind you daily that there’s something bigger than your small demands.

Isn’t belief in a higher power just escapism?
Not when it’s grounded in self-awareness. Recognizing limits isn’t weakness — it’s humility. It frees you from constant mental friction and opens the door to real inner peace.

Ramaswamy Sastry and Vighnesh Ghanapaathi