Arundhati: The Role Model for All Women - Part One

Arundhati, wife of Vasishta Maharshi, is considered to be the greatest among pativratas. She doesn’t have an equal in pativratya.

Not only pativratya. In every aspect, as the perfect woman, Arundhati is considered.

The six enemies of man – Kama, Krodha, Lobha, Moha, Mada, and Matsarya – lust or desire, anger, greed, ignorance, arrogance, and sense of competition, were simply not present in her. Instead, tolerance, kindness, peace, humility, knowledge, and discretion – these were there in abundance.

She is a role model for every woman.

In Vedic marriage, after the bride is brought home, in the evening, there is a ritual called Arundhati Darshanam. The groom and bride together look at Arundhati Nakshatra in the sky. Arundhati Nakshatra is in the Saptarshi Mandala. In fact, out of the wives of the Saptarshis, she is the only one who got a place in the Saptarshi Mandala. Her place is permanent there by the side of her husband, Sage Vasishta, for kalpas. Even in the next many kalpas to come, she will be there.

She attained this place because of her virtues, her qualities. The marital relationship between Vasishta and Arundhati is considered to be perfect. This is why the bride and groom look at them together as they start their dharmic life. Arundhati would never leave the side of her husband.

The modern couple should look at their own marital life against this backdrop.

Today, lives are ruled by careers. There are couples who live separately on account of their careers. Is this what you got married for? A separation once in a while is understandable. But spending the whole life in separation? Why did you even get married?

The vow taken at the time of marriage is that we will observe dharma together. We will live a dharmic life together. This is the purpose of marriage, as per our tradition, as per Sanatana Dharma. There may be certain situations where there is a compulsion.

But what we see today – they are mostly by choice, or the young couples today look at marriage as sharing some common space, not the whole space. Each one wants to keep his own or her own private space, all the more increasingly. They don’t want to merge into each other – they don’t want to become one. They don’t want to walk together in every respect. Certain common harmless things they are willing to keep as a common agenda.

This is the attitude with which these children are entering into marital life these days. No wonder – all the more marital issues, separations, divorces.

Why are you even getting married? Who is forcing you?

This is not Sanatana Dharma. In Sanatana Dharma, marriage is merging into each other, becoming a single entity, like Ardhanareeshwara. This is what Sanatana Dharma teaches us.

I remember one case. A couple divorced. The husband’s family, after a decade or so, realized that the issues pertaining to the wife, astrologically, were still affecting the husband. When she was going through a bad period, the husband was also suffering. They were perplexed. This is not some casual observation. Experts vetted this.

The divorce did not end the husband-wife relationship. It would continue till death.

Vedic marriage is sanctified with Agni.

What happens if you put gold and copper together and melt them in fire? They merge together. Once they merge together, then you can’t separate them unless you melt the alloy again. But the scriptures don’t give any such procedure for reversing a marriage.

So even if you pretend that by getting a paper from a court that the divorce has taken place, you are no longer connected to each other, it doesn’t happen that way. It is like the ostrich hiding its head under the sand and thinking that there is no one around.

The marriage is sanctified by powerful natural forces – Agni, water, mantras. It doesn’t end so easily. Just because you have got a paper from a court, it doesn’t end the relationship.

Wedded forever – that is what marriage in Sanatana Dharma is. There is no divorce in Sanatana Dharma.

While Christianity believes that marriage is till death, for us, it is still beyond.

If you see in Shraddha, the husband and wife are still offered together. That means they stay together in Pitruloka also. The term ‘Sapatneeka’ is used – with wife.

Arundhati was the daughter of a sage called Medhatithi. Several Rigveda mantras are attributed to Sage Medhatithi. He was a great rishi.

Even when she was a young girl, she was committed to dharma – righteous behavior. Her behavior would never deviate from dharma.

अरुन्धती means न रुन्धती – रोधनाकारिका अरुन्धती. She never used to obstruct dharma. Hence, she got the name Arundhati.

The sage’s ashrama was on the banks of the river Chandrabhaga. It was called Tapasaranya.

There are many things that purify – like Agni, punya jala. That’s why we sprinkle water to purify something or purify a place. Do a homa at some place, and that place is purified because of Agni. Like that, noble people purify. We invite noble people home, and their mere presence purifies home. We request them – ‘Touch of your feet at our place, that’s what we need.’

At the young age of five, Arundhati, because of the qualities that were present in her, purified the entire Tapasaranya. Sage Medhatithi himself was there. But the credit was given to Arundhati.

Not because she was good at tennis, not because she could dance like Uma Thurman. That any child would do with a little bit of talent and practice. Not because she could argue with anyone and prove her point.

Because of her qualities, at the young age of five. She was very playful also, like any child of her age.

continued....

Ramaswamy Sastry and Vighnesh Ghanapaathi